Wardobe Dilemmas

I have this burned orange knit jumper that I found at an op shop 2 years ago that I am madly in love with.

Only it's like, 3-4 sizes too big now and I wore it today and it was dropping off my shoulder, but a little too far to look "cold shoulder" and was clearly way too big.

Can you alter knitwear? Is that a thing?

Im pretty sure you can, but I don't know how.

No but you can style it to make it look intentional. I'm not sure what kind of pants you usually wear but could you pair it with skinny black pants or jeans and do a little french tuck at the front?

I might give that a go, it's more the neckline and shoulders that look weird though.

I never realise how everything I own is either short, sleeveless or a bit silly until I have to dress conservatively to go to Synagogue like once every few years or consider what I need to pack for travels. Eg. my Mum has successfully guilted me into going to Synagogue on Monday, but my choice of clothes is a sleeveless dress with a cardigan even if it's hot, a shirt and long hippy skirt, or a shirt and long tutu skirt. Stupid patriarchal religion I don't believe in won't let me wear pants.

You should get a few basic things that are fairly versatile forgiving, like a nice long skirt with an elastic/tie waist, and a cardigan/over-shirt made of a really light material, for these occasions! For years I had one specific black dress with sleeves I wore to all fancier events and funerals. It probably doesn't fit well anymore, and it's not really my style anymore either, but it lasted me for years and was a lifesaver for these kind of moments!

I do have plain basic things, just not long dresses/skirts. I have pants but I cant wear pants to synagogue (apparently the last rabbi suggested women could wear pants and it caused an uproar). I have dressy basic skirts, and theyre not short short, but they don't cover my knees (most knee-cover lengths make me look awkward and even shorter), and I have cardigans which is what I'll likely do on Monday but if its hot I'll be a bit stuck.

Paul's talked me into buying new clothes that fit my body as it is right now, so I can return to my gloriously confident former self and not be an anxious sad-sack every time we have to leave the house. (Underwear and too-small dungarees rarely cut it in public.)

What started as significant browsing fatigue and "THERE'S NOTHING I LIKE" has evolved into two too-full shopping carts and a painful culling process.

I WANT IT ALL. I've been Captain Planet the past few years, reduced my spending to practically nothing and bought anything I needed secondhand, so just the process of buying actual new, on-trend clothing from shiny websites with glitz and glamour and sales and Afterpay has reduced me to a bright-eyed consumerist mess.

Spoiler:

Plus some plain Sloggi undies and bras, which I need, and a couple cute onesies for Leon, which I probably don't but I haven't bought any new clothes for him yet, everything is handed down which is great environmentally etc but, you know, you kinda wanna buy your baby some of your own shit, and anyway, there's a LOT and I know I can and should cull it and I will BUT LOOK AT HOW COOL IT ALL IS

Oh my God, and then I made the mistake of looking at the Gorman sale.

*gouges own eyeballs out*

The new Jess Johnson range that's coming out makes me wanna drop a bomb.

I ended up exercising great self-restraint and just bought socks, oven mitts, and these bike shorts. Haha

I need to find something to wear to my cousin's wedding next month, and I hate shopping for things for weddings. Gorman is typically my go-to because I can find something that fits me and looks good on my body, even if it's not really my style, but I've had a look at Gorman online and nothing really looks decent. I might pull out the dress I wore to a wedding last year and see if it'll work for this and if it still looks ok on me (no idea how much my body has changed between May last year and now, but I assume a lot). I just hate shopping in general because I have NO IDEA where to look for things that are in my size, cut for my body shape and that I actually like and that feel like "me". I feel like it's one of those, "Pick 2 out of the 3, you can't have them all" type things. I also never have any idea who to ask. I'm not quite plus size, or I'm juuuuuust technically plus size maybe, but all "plus size" type stores start at a size that's too big for me, but all straight sizing usually goes up to my size but is cut for people a lot smaller and less curvy than me. The annoying thing is that if I actually liked more feminine things I wouldn't have such a problem because certain dress and skirt styles look quite good on my body shape, but I feel like I'm cosplaying as someone else in them. I prefer a much more androgynous style, but I hate the way the things I actually WANT to wear look on my body. I hate it I hate it I hate it.

I've also had a bit of what I guess is body dysmorphia post-baby, which is weird I suppose, because I didn't have anything like that when I was pregnant and quite liked my pregnant body, but for some reason my gigantic breasts have been really, really getting to me. I actually love breastfeeding itself but I feel really bad and disconnected from my body when I'm not breastfeeding and I have to see or think about my breasts, like I just want to chop them off.

Also, and this is a self-imposed restriction, but I can't wear anything green to this wedding, which is one of my favourite colours and the colour of things I keep finding online that I don't hate. That's because this cousin is the last brother of my two other cousins that died recently, and his brother Sam who died in February had a green-themed funeral where we all wore green. Maybe it's silly or overthinking, but I just don't feel like wearing green to this wedding because of that - it'll be the last "event" everyone at this wedding was at together.

I know I just need to build a roster of go-to shops that I can start with whenever I'm shopping for anything, but I don't know where to start or where people shop. I have Gorman, which I don't even really like, and that's it. I just saw Ace and Jig advertised online and checked them out, and they have some dresses I might consider, but they're definitely out of my budget.

Is this dress wedding appropriate or too casual? https://gormanshop.com.au/collections/new-arrivals-dresses/products/favourite-spot-sadie-dress?variant=40815214755883

Okay I've consulted some friends and given the wedding is a lunchtime "smart casual" wedding they say this will be ok! I'll go try it on tomorrow maybe and see if it's a vibe.

I love that dress Sian. Is it because it’s called the Sadie dress? Possibly, but it is nice.

I’ve been buying dresses from little party dress online recently. They have sales all the time and have a decent returns policy. A few dresses I’ve had to return to get a different (smaller which is wild) size and some dresses just don’t fit my body right but I’ve gotten some nice ones.

I think that dress is fine for a wedding

It seems a little casual for most weddings I've been to but I think it depends on the wedding. This might seem a bit obvious, but if you feel more comfortable in androgynous clothing maybe keep an eye out for a nice shirt you can wear with slacks or even a women's suit.